Dark moods

I feel before I see it. The winds come first; they tell me the secret of a thousand stories. Fierceness lies quietly underneath – the prelude of a thunderstorm that can break me apart. Continue reading “Dark moods”

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Letter to my heart

Wild and restless heart, can you hear the song of the world? Does it tell you all you need to know? Or does it only fill you with more wildness and restlessness?

Oh, I know, it’s so hard to keep quiet. Even when you have all the answers, the furious beat, the thrill of anticipation, the insatiable curiosity, the wonder of life – they all drive you to wish, to hope, to wonder. Continue reading “Letter to my heart”

You can do whatever you want

You can. There’s no question about it. The only one who can stop you is, well, you. I know – everyone says that. But there’s something particularly true in what is timelessly repeated.

It’s very easy to find excuses. I don’t want to hurt him. She will be mad at me. I will disappoint them. I will be judged for it. They won’t understand. I don’t know how. What if I fail?

They’re all excuses. Stop this, right now. You can. And you should. Continue reading “You can do whatever you want”

Two sides of the river

I am afraid. I wonder if you can see that. Sometimes, when the night is dark and I am alone, the fear comes and covers me like a shabby old blanket that I never wanted. Others, it manifests itself like a pill that got stuck in my throat and now scratches the esophagus, brings tears to the eyes and provokes such suffocating desperation that I become aggressive and defensive – towards you and anyone else who dares to be curious. Continue reading “Two sides of the river”

The truthfulness of your feelings

I recently went through a breakup and it got me thinking about the truthfulness of our feelings. I was so sure that I was in love with him. Not all the way (it was too short for me to fall all the way), but I was convinced I was on the right track and that I cared more about him at that stage than I ever did about a man outside my family. Continue reading “The truthfulness of your feelings”